YOU TURN ME

SOME THINGS TURNS US ON AND SOME THINGS JUST DON'T

All of us have preferences – this is very important to keep this in mind when it comes to your sex life. To put it quite simply – some things turn us on and some things just don’t. It is so crucial for couples to learn what turns their partner on and what can completely kill the mood – because it is not the same for both parties. Interestingly according to the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response (DCM), all humans gave sexual accelerators and sexual brakes in our central nervous system. So being turned on or completely turned off by certain thoughts, images, sounds, sensations, etc is completely normal and part of your own unique composition. 

Bring back desire 

Seeking the mystery in familiar eyes. 

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” – Marcel Proust

 

Do you remember the way you looked at your partner at the beginning of your relationship? Looking into those eyes that you have never seen before, drawn by the way she sees life or how he is so different than anyone you have ever met.

Do you remember the tangible electricity bursting through your body the first time he put his hand on your leg or the first time you went in for that kiss?

Do you remember those nights that turned into mornings with endless conversations about love and life?

And the passion, do you remember the passion? It is like a magnet drawing your bodies to each other, the feeling of complete freedom in the eyes of the one that desires you. Waking up and feeling truly alive, daydreaming about that night, those hands, those eyes, those lips, that voice – completely captivated. Feeling intimately connected and erotically satisfied.

Do you remember the desire?

But it does not last?

 

Bodylove

 

How do you feel about your body?

Do you turn off the lights during sex so that your partner won’t see your body?

Do you find yourself thinking that you would enjoy sex more if you lose some weight?

Does it seem like you can’t enjoy sex because you are worried that your body is not good enough for your partner?

Do you avoid sex with your partner due to feeling self-conscious?

Can the way you feel about your body affect your sexual relationship with your partner?

 

Marriage is a romantic act of union between two loved ones designed to last forever. So it can be tough when it feels like a marriage is not working out. But there is no such thing as the perfect marriage — even the most suitable couples will argue every now and then. But sometimes this conflict can increase to a point where it seems unmanageable.

Conflict can arise from anywhere. Over time circumstances change, and people change. Conflict can come from worries over money, or a breakdown in communication. But conflict does not have to be an obstacle standing in the way of a happy marriage.

Instead, it can be an opportunity to rediscover what made it so exciting in the first place.

 

SEXvsSTRESS

Stressing because you don't have sex, or no sex because of stress?

Do you feel like you have lost your desire for sex and intimacy?

Does it feel like effort and work to engage in sexual acts with your partner?

Do you find yourself struggling to be aroused by the idea of having sex?

Do you find yourself making excuses not to have sex?

 

Can stress kill desire and erotic energy? 

 
 
The question is, what do we want from sex?
When I ask couples this, they answer, great orgasm, great blowjob, lots of kissing, seeing that you enjoy it, feel you, intimacy. What they long for are pleasure and closeness. I call it pleasurable closeness.
 

 

Love

LIFETIME LOVERS

Love & Lust

Can we be friends and lovers?
Can we be intimate and erotic? 
Is it possible for love and lust to co-exist in a healthy marriage? 

“Lust is a lovely word and makes love so much more interesting.” – Michael Faudet

 Every day at 12 pm I picked up my little girl from her school.

She is three years old and the most beautiful little thing.
Every day when I arrive, I see her little face light up with excitement, anticipation and a deep longing to be close to me.
And when I answer her excitement with arms open, inviting her to jump she screams with excitement and asks me "Did you come to get me?".
And I answer, "I did, I am here."

 

 ILLUSTRATION HEARTWINGS

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LOUIS VENTER IS A RESPECTED AUTHORITY ON INTIMACY
AND HAS APPEARED IN OR CONTRIBUTED TO:
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